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            雨楓軒原創文學網 - 純凈的綠色文學家園 !

            雨楓軒

            原來,我不愛他

            時間:2019-06-14來源:本站原創 作者:卜算子 點擊:
            原來,我不愛他


            第一章 曾經
                發短信告訴程陽我要結婚的時候,他依舊只是曖昧地回復著讓我胡思亂想的話:我會來搶親的。而我,是真的期待他會出現,至少證明我十年的愛是有回應的。
            六月一日,是我們相識十六年的日子,選在這一天,我想他會懂的。然而,我在空蕩蕩的教堂里坐了一天,不如說等了一天,他并沒有出現,如我所料。
            印象中的程陽永遠都是云淡風清的模樣,仿佛所有事都與他無關,仿佛所有人都不入他的眼。
            記憶將我帶回很久以前。沒有表白,我們順其自然地走到了一起。
                第一次約會是在濱江公園,那時候摩天輪還只是擺設,公園里的孔雀極少開屏,只有猴山的猴子們活潑好動,我們坐在假山的涼亭里,說些什么有點忘了,但很像一對戀人。
                他突然提議道:“玩個游戲吧,從現在開始我們各走各的,看會不會中途遇見。”
                像是一場即興表演,我固執而任性的想要證明我們的緣分,直到我失望地回到原點,卻見他緩緩走來,淡定地笑著看我。原來我在焦急而盲目地尋找時,他只是去上了個廁所。
                我主動握上他的手,既有失而復得的喜悅又存著害怕失去的心慌。
            他用另一只手揉我的頭,笑著說說:“怎么這么傻,不用找就會在原點相遇。”
            他說緣分只是悲劇的借口。
                對了,那一年我十七歲,他二十歲。我上高一,他即將高考,我問自己愛他嗎?我想是愛的,否則不會總想起他。他笑起來的樣子真的很好看,像月光,柔情卻帶著清冷,孤傲中有著想讓人撫平的憂傷,有時會讓人心疼。
                回憶在那一刻突然變得模糊,他上了大學,我繼續努力學習,然后每到寒暑假我們像戀人一樣在同一個地方見上一兩次,再沒有牽手的行為,只是在言語上多了試探和曖昧。
                如今,距離上一次,我們竟然已有六年未見了,好可怕的時間,我究竟在等什么呢?
                陶宇來時,我在發呆。
                他沒好氣地道:“你傻啊坐在這?”然后望著我突然淚如雨下的樣子不知所措,那是我第一次在他面前傷心的哭,不知道為什么,見到陶宇,我一下子脆弱不堪。
                接下來的半年里,程陽似乎人間蒸發了一樣,電話無人接聽,短信不再回復。我想這是他祝我幸福的方式,單身時說些玩笑的話,我脫離單身他也撤離的迅速果斷,不拖泥帶水的引起誤會,我該慶幸啊!如果說當時我試探他只是為了證明他愛我與否,那這些日子他的行為足以說明一切,可是我不甘心啊!
                陶宇發現我情緒消沉,終于忍不住問了我原因,而我也忍不住說了編的故事。
                他看我的眼神只差放綠光。
                我玩笑道:“你是狼啊?干嘛這么盯著我!”
                他壓著怒氣問:“你就那么愛他嗎?那你當初干嘛招惹我呢?”
            作品集卜算子 責任編輯:秋雨楓
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