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            雨楓軒原創文學網 - 純凈的綠色文學家園 !

            雨楓軒

            說就說些他人得意之事

            時間:2019-06-11來源:網友提供 作者:呂叔春 點擊:
            說話滴水不漏的九大隱規則(全文在線閱讀)  >  第二章  > 5.說就說些他人得意之事
             
              社會分工越來越細,人們之間更加需要合作。在社會活動中,許多人都會遇到“求于人”的情況。怎樣才能使你的需求得到滿足,不至于被對方拒絕呢?這就需要你能夠巧妙地運用贊美,將對方引入你設定的情景,在求與被求的雙方心理上架設溝通的橋梁,然后提出你的要求,這樣,就會使你的要求成功地得到滿足。
              如果你能很有興致地與一個人談論他的專長,或他所取得的成績,或他所開展某項業務的輝煌時,你適時地提出與之相關的需求,在這樣的時刻,他拒絕你的可能性最小,你的要求得到的成功率最大,這是經過心理學家及社會學家的實驗所證明的。所以,當你有求于人時,就需要措辭得當,營造一個合適的氛圍,使你的需求最大可能和最大限度地得到滿足。
              有位朋友金某,他認識許多學術界的泰斗,并能常常得到他們的指點。問及他們之間的相識,也是緣于贊美運用的得法。因為有很多人也曾拜訪過這些大師,但往往談不上幾句便無話可說,很快被“趕”了出來,而他竟成為大師們的座上客,其中的奧秘自不待言。
              作為準備在學術領域有所建樹的金某,自然也很仰慕這些大師,他得知拜訪這些人不易,每當第一次拜訪某專家時,他先將這個人的專著或特長仔細研究一番,并寫下自己的心得。見面之后,先贊揚其專著和學術成果,并提出自己的想法。由于他談的正是大師畢生致力于其中的領域,自然也就能激起大師的興趣,談話雙方有了共同話題。談話中,金某又不失時機地提出自己不理解的地方,請求大師指點,在興奮之際,大師自然不吝賜教,于是金某既達到了結交的目的,又增長了許多見識,并解決了心中存在的疑惑,可謂一舉多得。
              這里金某就在有求于人時,巧妙地運用了贊語。自己所稱贊的,正是對方引以為豪并最感興趣的,自然使對方高興,使其心理得到滿足,此時,金某的問題也就不成為問題。當然,這只是生活中的一個方面,如果運用恰當,在生活的方方面面,都能行得通。
              初次見面,許多人除了幾句客套話之外,便沒有了下文,此時宜聊些對方的經歷與輝煌,引起對方的興趣,求人辦事,就得乘機而入。
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